The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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