he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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