I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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