its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
