dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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