im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
