WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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