mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize