Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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