We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
