Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There r osticjed everywhere
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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