i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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