I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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