bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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