'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
