Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
