I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
