at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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