I heard we made out
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He? As in you personified your dick?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize