marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have aggressive nipples.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
