I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
