Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
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