Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
