did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
