Heybabeimwearingurpanties
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
