I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
