do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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