I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it hurts more in the daytime
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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