I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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