we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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