that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
