Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
