just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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