we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
