I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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