Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
