Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize