there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
