I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize