What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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