But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
