I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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