My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
