she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
