if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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