she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
