with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
