My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
