The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
