i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
