The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
