Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
