I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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