did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
