My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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