butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
