The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
