I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
