how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
