If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
